“I Didn’t Kill Myself” 360 – 365

“I Didn’t Kill Myself” 360
Maybe it will all be clear
When the world dissapears.
I’m sorry world.
I’m still here.
I know you’ve been pushing me down.
I know you’ve been trying to put me down
Try to knock me out.
I know you’ve been thinking
That I’d give up to easily.
Fuck that, I’ve got to much to live for.
Even though I keep saying sorry
For things that I cannot help.
I know I’m good for something
Even though you tell me “Die, Die, Die”.
I may have cried every once in awhile
And I may have fell to my knees
One too many times.
I’ve fallen once, twice, three or four times
But I keep on catching myself
Before I fall to much apart.
I know this seems cliche’d
But I’m alive so I can live
And I will live, while I’m alive
So that as long that I may live.
I’ll be alive.
And you can’t do anything to stop me running
I’m running from here to the end of the world,
And when it comes to that point in time
When I’m put under the ground.
I’ll remind you in Hell
That I won,
Because I died
I didn’t kill myself.

“It’s Been A Long Time Coming” 361
It’s been a long time coming
Now that life has come around
You see it all flowing
Flowing from eye to eye.
The stars they shine
On life and death alike
It’s all a part of living.
It’s all a part of dying too.

“Deep Despair” 362
I’m known for pulling words from out of thin air
I’m known for making lies turn to truths
And bringing myself out of deep despair.

“Are You, You? 363
Have you got what it takes to stand
On your own two feet?
Have you got what it takes to fight
For what you believe?
Are you, you?
Or are you, them?

“Someone” 364
Someone is sure
Someone is true
Someone is lying
Someone is you.

“Wicked Goals” 365
Demon’s of the heart
Come from the soul.
For we are wicked beings
With wicked goals.

2 Responses to ““I Didn’t Kill Myself” 360 – 365”
  1. You made it, Devin! 365 consecutive posts–wow! What a commitment it took for you to expose your inner self without a break, writing down all that you felt in this last year. I hope you are honoring your work as something quite extraordinary.
    And remember, we are people of two natures, one half struggling with the darkness, the other half shining the Light. The Light is in our souls, who pull us ever closer to Love and the older I get, the more I think we are to accept and love our shadow selves so they can be pulled in, too. Sometimes it seems like a crazy Plan to me, but there are those who teach that, in essence, God was lonely, so He created creatures and us, His children, to experience through us all that human beings experience. I guess then the Plan got away from Him and he had to send angels and god-men to show us back home. It is one amazing story, isn’t it?
    Pam B

    • Thank you so much Pam, It’s a great accomplishment finding myself here. I’m planning to continue blogging here in the near future but I’m going to enjoy my summer and hopefully get started on other projects like the play that I started working on that is already 20 some odd pages into existence. A buddy of mine who I collaborated with on a farcical play for my creative writing class is planning on helping me complete this new project. I’ll send you a copy of it as soon as I feel part of it is ready to be read :). Thank you pam for all of your kind words and support over the last 374 days.

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