“All There Is, Is Now” – Days 295 – 298

“Why Do We Try?” Day 295
Are you just another open mouth,
Sent here to throw stones at me?
I find it hard to know
If this is what it really is.
Life’s so long, and so confusing;
But it’s not long enough as it ends.
We can’t see the end,
So why do we try.
When life’s right in front of us.

“What is Right?” – Day 296
Even the score out,
Check the rates.
See how the innings went.
Who won the race?
Do we always have to fight,
Do we always have to win?
Isn’t the experiencing of losing,
Just as a good of a teacher?
Can’t we remember
That we can’t succeed
Until we first fall down
Then pick ourselves up
And wipe ourselves down
To learn what is right?

“Even if I Will Die” – (A Reply to “Creep” by Radiohead) Day 297
“I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo,
I don’t belong here.”
That’s what he said.
I don’t believe him,
I won’t believe him,
Not a word that he said.
“I don’t care if it hurts,”
That I can believe.
Every day,
I must go.
Even if the pain is real.
It’s better than nothing, to feel.
So I’ll go into a new goodnight.
Even if I will die.

“All There is, is Now” Day 298
Can’t get a grip of these things that I’m feeling;
And I’m losing control of my life as I’m falling
Down the rabbit hole again.
Is this the way it’s got to be?
Madness sings his words to me.
Reminds me of the shadow in the closet
Whom creeped and prowled through my mind
As I lay awake at night,
He is a constant reminder of the wrong turns.
Always chiming in at the best of times
For the worst results.
He makes me doubt my next move,
Tries to get me out of my groove.
He tosses me a bone, then lays me a trap.
He pulls the carpet out from underneath me
And just six feet below lies my coffin.
It’s filled with spikes, and rusty nails,
Spiders crawl across my scales.
I realize I’m a monster,
I see the stars reflect my eyes.
Like a snakes, and then I cry out.
This cannot be,
This is not me.
I can be whatever I will be.
Even though the sands begin to fall on me.
I’m cutting it close,
Am I holding onto strings
When they are too close to fraying?
Am I holding on when I should be letting go.
Should I jump head first into the darkness
Let it embrace me in its coldness.
Should I drop all predilections
And toss myself into the unknown
Whether I live or I die I’ll never know if I don’t try.
It’s tough,
Life is tough,
But if I go on blindly I could hit a dead end in the road.
Break my nose off the concrete and my tongue rolls out.
Dead, dead, dead, dead, and dead.
That is all I’ll be if I never try.
So whether I’m a monster,
Or a child, or a man, a woman, or some other concoction
Of miss-matched flesh.
I must stand, I will stand.
I’ll crawl out of every hole that has been dug for me,
And I’ll tear my way out of every grave I dug myself.
For no way, no how will I give up just yet.
There is no chance for second chances
All there is, is now.


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