“You Never Really Cared At All” – Day 228

“This is What I Want.”
Don’t underestimate the madness
Give me a reason to fight back.
I’ll give you one more minute to explain
Why you tried to do this to me.

Why am I such a blur?
Why are you such a whore?
Why do words escape me;
While memories repress me?
All I want to do is die away
Than spend another day with you.

Don’t expect much more from me.
I’m falling apart so slowly.
I see the gun, I see the trigger
Explain to me which is bigger.
What does it matter?
We aren’t getting any younger.

Why is this how it works?
Why does it have to hurt?
Why do you berate me;
While all your words rape me?
All I want to do is die away
Than spend another day with you.

I’m getting out of here.
It’s useless to argue dear.
This scheming is endless,
I’ll leave you defenseless.
I’ll slit your throat
And walk away.

Give me a bullet straight to my brain.
I am dead anyway!

Watch this trigger
Tell me which is bigger,
The bullet or my ego?
I guess it doesn’t matter.
Listen to the clatter.
The thunder, and the fire;
Leaving everything to die.
God say goodbye.

“If You Really Cared at All.”
If you really care at all
You’d close the door.
If you really care at all
You’d lock away the key
Forget me.
If you really cared
You wouldn’t still be here!

I’m not going to write another word
That I have written down before.
I’m afraid of writing the same thing

These are the words
That define my conceit.
These are the words
That have signed my defeat.
My patience is running out.
This is what you’ve done to my sanity.

“This isn’t politics.”
This is not how the story was supposed to end.
I never wanted your blood on my hands.

You liar, your favorite colors crimson.
With ebony wrapped round your heart.
Constricting you, twisting what you once were.
What happened to the girl I knew from before?

This isn’t how it was supposed to end.

I wanted you but you wouldn’t have me
The way that I was.
I promised you everything and you took it.

I saw this coming,
I knew you’d be the one to fall for my tricks.

You bitch.

This isn’t politics.

Romanticism of political clause,
You used a loophole
Then wrapped me in gauze.
But for what cause?
To rip away my inheritance.
What arrogance!

I am not a gold digger.

There isn’t any gold to dig; that’s why!

Where does it end?
What will this prove?
Cover up identities
Watch me



“You Never Cared At All.”

Why didn’t I just walk away when you said
Why didn’t I just say forget this.
And just turn away
And forget this ever happened.
You never cared enough for me
To tell me that you loved me.
Or even that you cared.
I’m sick of the abuse.
I’m sick of turning blue
With the bruises
I’m sick of your beatings
Of all of the meanings
And uselessness of words.
I can see it in your eyes that you hate me.
So why do you bait me?
You’re sick,
You never cared.
I’m sick of this
I’m sick of the pain
I’m dying inside.
These words are so simple
You said this’d be over when I’m dead.
That’s all that I can hope for.
This is the hope that I’ve been given.
I’m stuck inside fighting what’s been put in front of me.
Fighting with the frequency of all of these enemies.
What the hell do you want from me.
Bitch what’d you do to me!

“Only When I’m Dead”
How much did I mean to you
when you turned the other cheek?
How much did I mean to you
When you left me alone on the street?
What’s your malfunction?
Having a slight dysfunction?
What happened to all that we created?
Turn the page and skip to the end,
Because only when I’m dead
Will you find happiness in memories of me.
I promise this.


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